Back off, Vulture! (a top 10 list)

So I was walking through the mall today, trying to kill some time, when I was approached by one of those cell phone dealers that hang around their booth in the center of the mall, feeding on innocent mall-goers, trying to sucker them into selling their lives away.

We have all encountered them… What do you do? Ignore them? Walk faster? Slap them? Here are my top 10 favorite reactions to the center isle mobile vendors:

1) “Sorry, I don’t speak English”
2) Act like you are on your phone, then when he/she approaches you, hold your phone down, and say “Sorry, I don’t believe in cell phones.” Then go casually back to your fake phone call.
3) Scream “RAPE!!!!” then run away with your arms flailing about.
4) “Sorry, I’m Amish”
5) Start getting a little choked up, explain (through broken tears) that your mother was killed in a freak cell phone accident, then start bawling uncontrollably.
6) Get a little wild-eyed, then keep repeating the phrase “The end is upon us… The prince will spare no one….”
7) Start barking at him angrily… If this doesn’t scare them away, resort to sniffing his butt
8 ) Take whatever pamphlet they try to give you, then when the next person tries to convince you to switch to their service, pull out your pamphlet and try to convince them to switch to that one. Make wild claims about the features, like “the new Blackberry 20029 for At&t is the only cell phone that allows you to control your car from inside your house.”
9) Stare at them for 5 seconds, then without saying a word or blinking, move your hand slowly to your nipple, pinch it and make a squirting sound… wait 5 more seconds then say, “I just shot you in the eye…” and walk away silently.
10) look at them sadly and say “Well why should I buy this from you, when as soon as I leave this mall I’m going to go kill myself…. Unless you can talk me out of it…” (okay, this one’s a little dark, but at least you make them work for their sale)

ps- I actually used all 10 of these responses today… Let’s just say there are a lot of confused and angry cell phone vendors in the Laguna Hills Mall now

My issue with Baptism….

So in the past two months, I have visited more churches than I care to list… And in those two months, I have seen a lot of interesting things. The one thing that stands out to me that I can’t quite get over, is Baby Baptism…

First of all, I don’t expect to convince anyone of anything, this is just me voicing my opinion on the matter. I don’t think anyone is going to fall out of salvation if they don’t believe my opinion, so relax .

Here’s my issue. I have seen several babies (2 years or younger…. sometimes as young as 7 months!) get “baptized” in the past two months, and it bugs me. You see, a baptism, as far as I understand it, is a public declaration and symbol of one’s accepting of Christ as their savior. It tells the members of a church community, “I am making a decision to follow Christ, and I believe His blood has washed away my sins.” It’s a beautiful thing. It is an announcement of your love and appreciation of Christ, a commitment to His teachings, and a reaching out to the church community, asking them to hold you accountable for your actions. Beautiful. However, I have a problem with a 7 month old child, who doesn’t even understand why some old man with a microphone is pouring water over its head, being forced to go through this action. That child is not committing itself to Christ. It is not accepting Christ as its savior. It doesn’t even fully understand the concept of waking up every morning, so how can it be thankful that God, through His Grace, gave it another day to be alive? (note: I use the term “it” not to belittle the child, but because it is a lot easier than typing “he/she” every time, and it is also easier to read).

Now, before you start hating me, let me say that I love baby DEDICATIONS. In fact, they are probably my favorite part of church services (besides worship). Even more beautiful than someone going through the symbolism of a baptism, is the act of two people, fully in love with their new child, making a commitment to do all that they can to raise this child to love Christ with all its heart, and to fully understand what God did for him/her. I also love how this brings a church together… Baby dedications are pleas from the parents to the congregation, to love this child and look after it, to promise that they will do their best to show the child a true, loving church family, as well as to keep the parents accountable in their parenting. Nothing brings a church family together like this.

Once again, these are just my personal opinions. I am not baptizing my child. I want him/her to make that commitment for him/herself. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that “without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” How can someone who is not even old enough to understand the word “God, let alone recognize His reward and love, make this decision?

Like I said, this isn’t a big deal, I’m just ranting more than anything… In fact, looking back, I think I just wrote this so that I could understand more fully and in a somewhat-organized way why it is that I dislike baby baptisms. So, agree or not, this is my blog, s I write what I want haha.

Either way, may God bless you today, tomorrow, and through eternity! His mercies are new every morning, so enjoy them! Love you friends

God’s Plan

This is really more for me, so that I don’t forget these thoughts, but I welcome any thoughts or comments!

So I am reading Francis Chan’s book, entitled Crazy Love, and can I just say first of all that it is quite amazing. He writes like he speaks, in a way that pulls you into the message, and makes you feel like he is speaking straight to you. God is at work through this man.

Anyway, in the third chapter, which shares its name with the book’s title, Francis talks about the way that God loves us, and our struggle to come to really KNOW this, and not merely accept it as fact (not simply because “the Bible tells me so”). His thouths related to this really hit home for me, but that isn’t what I’m focusing on here. What I found more intriguing, was the way we wrongly view our part in God’s plan.

As Christians, one of the biggest concerns we have is carrying out God’s will. We constantly pray that God is using us for His will, and we worry that the choices we make are not always conducive to His plan. This is understandable, since we are terribly imperfect beings, and we all know that we make plenty of mistakes. So, it is natural to worry about whether we are “helping” God’s plan along.

In the book of Jeremiah, chapter one, God is speaking to Jeremiah, telling Him that before Jeremiah was even born, God knew him, intimately, and had already appointed him to be a prophet. Jeremiah is concerned that he will not have the right words, and is ill-prepared for such a large job (due to his own inexperience… Jeremiah was probably in his early 20s here).

Sound familiar? Think about the last time you doubted your ability to carry out the work of God… Maybe you were afraid to share His word for lack of experience doing so. Or maybe you lay awake at night, worrying about whether or not God thinks you are doing a good job of playing your part in His plan.

Let’s keep moving through the chapter. God responds to Jeremiah: “Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’ because everywhere I send you, you shall go, and all that I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you, to deliver you.” Let’s stop there for a second. First of all, God does not ask Jeremiah to “go” or “speak,” nor does He suggest it. God tells Jeremiah, he SHALL do these things. God is not giving Jeremiah guidelines on how to carry out the Plan, he is steering Him in those directions. God also says He is with Jeremiah, to “deliver” him. God will place Jeremiah specifically where He needs to be. Then name Jeremiah means “Jehovah establishes/appoints/sends.” God knows where he wants Jeremiah, and will put him there.

Moving on. Jeremiah goes on to say that the Lord “stretched out His hand” and touched Jeremiah’s mouth… The Lord Stretched out His Hand and Touched Jeremiah’s mouth…. The LORD STRETCHED OUT HIS HAND and TOUCHED Jeremiah’s mouth!!!! Do you get this?! The Lord our God, whom the Israelites would shield there eyes from, for fear that even a glimpse of Him would kill them, STRETCHED OUT HIS HAND, and touched Jeremiah on the mouth. Stop reading and just think about that for a minute. Picture God, if you can even try, “stretching” out His hand (and image that to me conveys a sense of desperation to even reach Jeremiah) and touching a man my age on the mouth… This is serious stuff.

The Lord goes on to tell Jeremiah: “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. I have appointed you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms, to pluck up and break down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” Wow. With a touch on the lips, God PLACED HIS WORDS in Jeremiah’s mouth. The word of God spoke creation. It destroyed nations, it condemned the devil, and it saved us from sin. This is some powerful stuff. Look at the power God has given Jeremiah. “to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.” I don’t know about you, but I would not want this power. I would be too afraid of using it for the wrong reasons. But God has reassured Jeremiah, that He is going to lead him. God will SEND Jeremiah to the right place. God will speak through Jeremiah. God will do His work.

Do you see the key word here? GOD will…. Before thinking on this I would say Jeremiah is a tool, but he is more than this. God says that He KNEW Jeremiah before he was even created. God formed a personality, strengths, weaknesses, emotions, spiritual gifts, and a heart in Jeremiah. God loves Jeremiah, and because Jeremiah loves Him back, God USES him… God does not sit by and hope that Jeremiah does the right thing and furthers God’s plan, He USES him to accomplish the things he is on this earth to do.

Jeremiah went on to spread the Lord’s word for at least five decades… Think about doing nothing but minister from now until you are 75 years old… If, upon turning 75, you looked back at your life, and saw that all you had done was share the word of God, which you knew to be true, would you still worry about whether or not you had been working to fulfill God’s plan?

Now obviously, we aren’t all meant for the same works as Jeremiah. But Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are “created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” God really does have a plan for everyone, and it is HIS PLAN. Has God not seen things through so far? Do you think that He would let His plan fail? Then, brothers and sisters, stop worrying about how you need to plan to serve Him. Your plans don’t mean a thing, even if you are making them in an attempt to line them up with Gods. It doesn’t matter how close yours are to His, what matters are HIS. And He will use you as He sees fit. God will carry out His plan, and He will send you where you are supposed to go. The only thing you have to worry about is to Love Him, which, in itself, is enough to worry about as it is.

The one sentence summary: stop thinking about your plan to help God, and let Him do His thing. Love Him, accept Him, and be willing to follow, and He will do the rest.

Love you friends

Kop

As another season in Barclay’s Premier League rolls around the corner, James only has one wish for Christmas… heck, I’ll even take it as a Christmas/Birthday wish, if that’s what it takes: to see my boys at Ansfield put up a decent fight this year.

For the past 15 years or so, the only teams one could count on for winning the Premier League Championship were (you guessed it) Man U, Chelsea, and Arsenal. I don’t know what the hell happened in the 1994-95 season (everyone seemed to play dead EXCEPT for the Rovers), but we won’t count that one . And with those three teams’ performances last year, it was as if there were no other clubs even contending for the championship. Is it too much to ask for Kop to get SOME recognition as a team?

I’m not expecting them to sweep the league, by any means. I’m also a Chelsea fan, and I think they’re actually going to have a pretty decent season this year. They’ve got a (nearly) fully recovered bunch of veterans, less coach drama than they began with last year, and Balack and Lampard will be back in to help, so that Drogba isn’t carrying them everywhere. But all I want is for Liverpool to put up a fight worth reading about (and watching, of course). I’m tired of hearing “did you see Man U’s game against WIGAN last night?” …. Come on… really? I mean, no offense to Wigan fans (in fact, credit to you… if you can be a fan of a club with that record, then you are a TRUE fan, and I respect you), but that’s not even an interesting game. I’m tired of football being the newest “trend,” with everyone’s favorites being whoever is doing the best at the time…

I think what I’, actually bitter about (besides all the wannabe football fans), is the fact that due to Liverpool’s lack of popularity, Steve Gerrard and Robbie Keane get no respect. I don’t even know where to start defending Gerrard… dragged the club through their cup victories in Worthington, led the England National team through some amazing games when Beckham crapped out (don’t even get me started on David Beckham… I understand he’s the “cool British face of football” …. sorry… “soccer” for most of his fans…. here in America, but Beckham is a douche. I apologize for my choice of language, but there really is no other word that captures it). Sorry, back to Gerrard: the man has been awarded an MBE by the Queen for goodness sake! And, through all the fight, has never traded teams. The man is loyal. As far as Keane goes, I just have a soft spot for a man who comes to Liverpool from Ireland (poor guy took over that team at a bad time) to play some GREAT football, and gets little to no recognition.

Anyway, this has become more of a rant than anything, but here’s the deal: Liverpool has a chance to do good things this year. We have Diego Cavalieri in from Brazil to assist in the… previously lacking goaltending department (not that Itandje can’t hold his own… we just needed someone for that little extra umph in Barclays. I say let Itandje keep doing his thing with the Carling!). Plus the partnership between Keane and Torres this year should prove to be exciting. In fact, I think I’d rather watch those two than Drogba and Shevchenko (bold statement, I know, but just wait. I have a feeling Kop’s young duo is going to make a name for themselves).

Well, worse comes to worse, I could always start watching Nascar, like a good (*cough* redneck *cough*) American

Summer?

I feel like this entire summer just sort of flew by…. While most of the people I know either went home, went on vacation, went on a mission trip, or worked at a camp, I worked at the ‘Bux the entire summer… And don’t get me wrong, while I LOVE serving grumpy old men and crack-addicted Azusans who don’t bathe, it would have been nice to get out of LA county for longer than a day…

Meanwhile, my brain is just about halfway through the recovery from last semester, and I’m about to begin my busiest one yet… 23 units of music and pre-med, working at the Bux, volunteering at Foothill Pres, and trying to find a few minutes to maybe sleep .

I realize right about now that I sound like a pretty negative person… oh well . Haha, in reality, I love life. People have been telling me for years now that I’m going to burn myself out and be miserable, but the truth is, I thrive on this. There’s something about knowing that God has given me the drive and determination to work through things that some would throw up just thinking about, that pushes me. I guess I’m just twisted like that :/ haha.

Anyway, Chapel Retreat is right around the corner, and I couldn’t be more excited! I love the people on the chapel worship teams, and while it will be MUCH different without some of the old guys (how I will miss Dom and our shared love for Journey and each other…. Chadwick and his “Spiritual Seduction,” and 45 straight minutes of Ben and Shaun quoting Back to the Future…), I’m really looking forward to seeing what this time brings. While I’m sure nothing will replace Josh programming the Triton to loop disgustingly eerie music through an amp cranked to 11 right outside BT’s door at 3am, while we all lock ourselves in the room with the keyboard so it can’t be shut off, and watch Ben try to convince Brad that he REALLY WAS sleeping in that bass drum case, and not hiding… I’m sure this retreat will have its moments

Fun fact: I had to correct the word “its” in my typing five times in the past four hours, because for some reason I keep screwing up when to properly use an apostrophe… Go figure.

Well, I’m moving out of this apartment tomorrow, so it’s (make that six times) past my bedtime. Good night all. As my father would say: “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite. If you see them on the wall, take a spoon and eat them all.”   ….There’s a great last image to leave a 4 year old before turning off the lights